Relieved!

Baby O is finally head-down. I had my midwife appointment yesterday and she thought he was head-down and engaged but suspected he had got his legs into an odd position. Given his history of being a twisty turny little monkey, she sent me for a scan this morning to confirm. He is indeed head-down and engaged and in the optimum position for labour. The big painful lump on the side of my bump that I thought was a head is in fact his knee. I really should have twigged that he had engaged because I've been finding it incredibly difficult to walk since Sunday. On Saturday I was fine, and on Sunday I was hobbling around like a little old lady. I can't put into words how relieved I am. In the last week or so I've been reading up on caesarean births in an effort to prepare myself and learning of the hospital stay, recovery time and physical limitations was very alarming. I've never been separated from Michael and being away from him for 4 nights, and then not being able to lift him, would be horrible. The midwife also tried to estimate Baby O's birth weight and she believes that he will be about the same weight as Michael was (4+kg). The words she used were "this will not be a small baby". I was very glad to hear that because Gleghorn babies are not supposed to be small.

Now that my major worries have been dealt with, I can get on with enjoying the last few weeks of it being just me and Michael at home during the day. He's recently started doing the most adorable thing to get my attention. He'll gently cup my face in his hands and turn it to look at him. Who could resist that? Considering all the wiles a toddler can employ to get attention, I consider myself very blessed. He is obsessed with tractors at the moment and wants me to sing the theme tune to "Little Red Tractor" all.the.time. If he can be holding a toy tractor whilst I am singing it then so much better. Janny, my doula, bought him a Duplo tractor last week and he adores it. My mum has also bought him one for his birthday so he is a very lucky boy indeed.

General update

I know - another inexcusably long gap between entries. There have been plenty of times when I've thought "I must blog that" only to be distracted by something. I guess I'll update on the pregnancy first. I've mentioned previously that I'd be given a couple of growth scans and I had them at 31 and 33 weeks. The first gave the baby a predicted weight at term of between 9 and 10lbs. The second gave a predicted weight of 7lbs. So basically they have no clue, but he probably won't be significantly larger than his brother. On that point there is no reason why the birth shouldn't be straightforward and avoid the need for a ventouse. I was tested 3 times for gestational diabetes and after the third negative result the midwife has finally given up on the idea that Michael's size was due to uncontrolled gestational diabetes. Only one issue remains with Baby O and that is that he is still lying transverse in the womb, He was transverse at the 20 week scan and has remained in that position almost constantly ever since. He's rapidly running out of room and needs to turn by the time I have my next midwife appointment in 2 weeks. A transverse baby can't be born naturally so if he doesn't turn there are only a couple of options. Firstly, a scheduled c-section. Scheduled because if I were to go into labour naturally there is a risk of the cord being compressed because the head is not blocking the birth canal. Secondly, a consultant could attempt to manually turn the baby (called a external cephalic version). This has a high success rate with transverse babies but is not without risk. In my case the risk is increased because the placenta is at the front. The doctors need to be on standy to perform an emergency c-section when this procedure is performed. Due to the risks, I doubt that I would agree to this if suggested. At the 31 week scan we got a good look at Baby O's face - he really is a beautiful baby. He was blinking, sticking his tongue out and waving his arms around. I've never had a scan so late on before so we were mesmerised (well, as Phil was trying to keep Michael from wrecking the place, he was mesmerised when he had a moment to look at the screen). We didn't get to see his face at the 33 week scan because he had his arms crossed over his face. No doubt fed up of being peered at - don't blame him!

Michael is doing very well. He is a book addict and expects to be read at least 10 stories a day. We have a pretty big selection and some of the Baby Einstein books have been a real success. He can recognise most letters of the alphabet and even read 'BBC' off a page I was reading. He knows the numbers 1 - 10 and can often point them out when he sees them. He's a happy little chap and rarely tantrums unless he is tired or we are trying to take a particularly fabulous new toy from him (like the phone receiver he ran off with yesterday and did something weird to). He has a good vocabulary now despite having a slow start. The most wonderful thing is that he is very loving and I am greeted in the morning with a big smile and he often blows me a kiss. It makes my heart melt and makes everything worthwhile. Even now, I find myself periodically peeking into his room when he sleeps to remind myself that he's real, and our little boy. I can't wait to find out what Baby O's personality will be like.

I've been trying to prepare Michael in a very simple fashion for the arrival of his little brother. It started with me saying:

Me: Michael, there is a baby in Mama's tummy.
Michael (hopefully): Book?
Me (somewhat deflated): No... baby...

I then bought the book "There's a House Inside My Mummy" which attempts to explain the subject to toddlers. He loves the book but I'm not sure what impact it has had. I always end the story by saying that Baby O is in Mama's tummy, and by putting his hand on my tummy. I put his hand on my tummy when Baby O is moving around too. He was quite startled on the last occasion and gave the area a vague stroke before wandering off in search of his juice cup. Basically, I think he's completely clueless but at least I can say I've tried. I was only a few months older than him when my sister was born and I still remember the resentment I felt when I was forced to wait for attention whilst my mum attended to her. Both my mum and dad are younger siblings and I don't think they could really appreciate what it feels like to be the oldest. Phil is the youngest in his family so between us we should be able to empathise with our children in this respect.

I'm trying to think if there is any other news to relay. I don't know if I mentioned that Phil was promoted to Technical Support Manager back in April? We're all very proud of him. I've told him not to turn into a corporate drone ;-)

I think that will do for now because I need to go and get Michael some lunch. I'll try to post more regularly from now on.

Scan pictures

These are my two favourite scan pictures. Here is Baby O waving to us. It is a lovely clear picture.



















This is the profile picture. He has the same button nose as Michael. What a little cutie :o)

Back from the scan

All is well with the baby! Hooray! The scan was even more detailed than last time which was just fantastic. The sonographer went to great pains to tell us everything she was checking for as she did it. It was a colour ultrasound so we saw the blood flowing through the chambers of the heart. It truly was amazing. I'm totally in awe of the technology used. Every organ and limb was examined and measured. The baby was awake and bouncing around - not surprising really since I ate some cheese to ensure that they would co-operate with the sonographer. Cheese seems to be the thing that gets them jumping - with Michael it was apple juice and chocolate. The sonographer told me that I have an anterior placenta (at the front, rather than at the back which is more common). That explains why I can feel only little kicks that don't move the stomach. The baby is also lying transverse which explains the unsual pointed shape of my bump.

Ok... no point in keeping the secret any longer. I'm having another little BOY! He will from now on be known as Baby O. We'll have to start thinking of a middle name to go with the first name we have chosen for him. Lucky thing we have 20 weeks to work on it. Considering the fact that he will have all of Michael's clothes, which will be size-perfect for every season (both August babies), there was no excuse for my spending 70 euro in H&M on gorgeous little baby clothes. I couldn't help myself! I'm a sucker for teeny tiny dungarees. Michael had very few newborn outfits - mostly he just had sleepsuits. I wanted Baby O to have a few items of clothing purely for him.

All in all, a fantastic day. I am so relieved and happy! I'll post some scan pictures in a while.

Scan later today

It's my 20 week anomaly scan later today and I have to confess to being quietly terrified. I'm not going to be convinced that all is well with the baby until I hear it directly from the sonographer. I'm a member of a couple of baby forums and there has been some very sad news of late from ladies who were due around the same time as me. It is very hard not to be affected. I also find it difficult to believe that coughing virtually constantly for 3 weeks can have done the poor little bugger any good.

The one thing I am excited about is that, if the baby co-operates, we should find out the sex. Last time, I was 100% convinced that I was having a boy. This time, I'm not really sure. If I had to guess, I'd say another boy. I'll have to wait and see. I've warned Phil that his credit card will be in some danger if it is a girl because I intend to go wild in the aisles in the H&M baby girl department. I don't normally approve of pink - isn't pink just something that happens when you put a red sock in the wash with a white load?? - but I may be prepared to revise my opinion.

Watch this space, and if you're so inclined, cross your fingers for us that everything is ok with the baby. Thanks x

General update

It is about time I posted an update. Michael had his 18 month check today so let's start with the stats:

Age: 1 year, 6 months, 1 week and 6 days
Weight: 12.605 kg (27.79 pounds)
Length: 87.5 cm
Number of teeth: 16
Food: 3 solid meals a day, plus snacks. Essentially, will eat anything with the exception of egg white.
Current temperament: Tired, grumpy and starting with a cough.
Current location: Sitting in his highchair eating his supper.

We were given a lengthy questionnaire to fill in and bring along to the baby clinic today. The nurse checked that Michael could build a tower of 3 blocks and that he could throw a ball. I was amazed that he managed to build the tower because at home it is all about tower destruction - I build them and he gleefully destroys them (not just knocking them down - he *has* to scatter the blocks all around the room). We were asked about imaginative play and Michael's ability to follow simple instructions. We talked a little about his speech because Phil and I had concerns, but apparently he is perfectly normal. He only talks a little but has about 8 words in regular rotation. All he needs to be classed as normal at 18 months is 3 words in addition to Mama and Dada. Perversely, Michael doesn't say Mama or Dada. He just assumes that one of us will be along to cater to his whims, and he doesn't care which of us it is ;o) He is still incredibly tall (between percentile 90 and 95) which isn't news to us given the speed at which he grows out of clothes.

Generally, he is a happy and very affectionate little boy. I never normally use the pushchair because he likes to walk everywhere. We go for walks of about an hour around the neighbourhood and he never shows signs of tiring. He loves to be outdoors and even more than that, he likes it when Dada bounces him up and down. He greets Phil by backing into his legs to encourage him to bounce him. Right now, bouncing fixes everything. He has cultivated the most fabulous grin which we struggle to capture on camera. It practically splits his face in two.

In other news, I got my blood test results back last week and thankfully I had fifth disease as a child. We'll never know whether Michael had it, but he got over it easily and the baby and I were in no danger. I had a midwife appointment at the end of last week and we got to listen to the heartbeat. It sounded good and strong. We have to wait four weeks for the anomaly scan. At that time, we will hopefully find out the sex. I can't wait! I have been tempted to go for a private scan to find out the sex but I'm not keen on having a scan that isn't medically necessary. The poor child will probably have several growth scans and deserves not to be peered at all the time.

My general blood test results showed that I don't have gestational diabetes - surprise, surprise. The midwife is still not convinced that I don't just have big babies (remember what I just wrote about Michael's height?!?) and I will be tested again further along in the pregnancy. Shockingly, I haven't had toxoplasmosis. The midwife wasn't going to test me for that but I specifically requested the test as I have 4 cats. I have lived with cats since I was 7 years old and used to dig in the garden and let Pepper (my first, and most beloved cat) drink out of my Ovaltine mug of an evening. How can I not have had it?!?

My morning sickness has well and truly gone and I have my appetite back. I have been celebrating by rediscovering the joys of the humble jacket potato. Tonight I made this fantastic meal. It was heavenly. I didn't have any cheddar so I used one of the Spanish cheeses that Phil brought back from Majorca. It tastes a little like Wensleydale and worked very well as a substitute.

Morning at the hospital

Today has been.... arduous. I had to go to the hospital in the morning for the Down Syndrome scan and I also had to give a blood sample to check for gestational diabetes. The first required me to have a full bladder and the second required me to fast for 10 hours beforehand. With morning sickness and a hacking cough thrown into the mix for good measure, you might have some understanding of why I used the word arduous.

Phil and Michael came along with me. Unfortunately we had a long wait everywhere we went. Most importantly, the scan went well. The sonographer took a very long time examining the baby in silence. I tremulously asked if there was anything wrong after watching her face for a time, and she told me that she was just concentrating on capturing the perfect image to measure the neck fold. The baby was looking wonderful. We saw the spine, which always astounds me with its perfection, and we heard the heartbeat for the first time. I won't find out my risk for having a baby with Down Syndrome until the results of the scan are combined with the blood test results and the average risk of someone my age. After the scan was over - and, incidentally, ow! Being jabbed in the belly for 15 minutes is not fun! - I dashed to the toilet. I completely forgot that Michael can get upset when I disappear from view and I could hear him crying for me. He is such a happy little guy that I forget how much he still needs me. The sonographer told me that he is my little satellite, orbiting my world and the reason he has confidence is because of my presence.

Michael was pretty unhappy after we left the sonographer's room. He didn't want to go into the waiting room when I went to get blood drawn. He kept taking my hand and trying to lead me away. Eventually I got seen and managed to get away with a finger prick test rather than having to give yet another vial of blood. We were all very happy to leave the hospital, although I haven't felt all that well since. I didn't get anywhere near enough sleep last night and I don't think the fasting helped much. Eating little and often is the thing that keeps the morning sickness at bay. I had been putting off having the gestational diabetes test for weeks because I didn't want to have to fast. Ah well, all done now.

I wanted to write an entry devoted to Michael but I feel so drained that I don't know that I'd do it justice. If I write when I'm tired, then when I read it back it seems passionless and I want to do Michael justice. If I get a good sleep tonight I promise to post in lavish detail about my wonderful son. I'll also force Phil to upload some new pictures to the gallery so I can show you what he looks like now (cute as a button, but in serious need of a haircut!)

Decided to announce the pregnancy

I decided to publish all the posts I have been keeping back regarding my pregnancy. I had a bleeding scare at the weekend and an emergency scan on Tuesday. The baby is absolutely fine and there was no sign of bleeding. He was scratching his ear and twanging the umbilical cord which was fabulous :o) The scan was slightly longer than normal because the sonographer was explaining everything she was doing to a young, male trainee. I am never a big fan of men working in gynaecology but I guess everyone has the right to choose their profession.

You may be wondering why I am referring to the baby as a 'he' this early on. Although there is no way to be sure until the anomaly scan, the sonographer had a good look at the baby's bottom and it looked to be a boy. Also... the feet were huge so I can't believe that it could be a girl! No wonder I've been feeling some movement already!

New due date

I went for a dating scan today at the hospital and was told that the baby is measuring 5 days ahead of dates. I know my dates are accurate because I was charting and using OPKs on the month I fell pregnant. I guess this means it is going to be another big baby. My due date has been changed accordingly to...

08/08/08

How cool is that for a birthday?!? I know it is only something like 3% of babies that are born on their due dates but all the same, very cool. I'm anticipating that it will be another boy given the size and the fact he/she slept through the whole scan. The midwife was even trying to wake him/her up by jabbing my belly. The cheek! Poor baby. If you can't get some peace and quiet in the womb then where can you?

We would probably have gone out to dinner tonight to celebrate but we are all exhausted with a capital 'E'. Michael just isn't sleeping well at the moment. He wouldn't nap at all yesterday and ended up crashing out on me for a while. In the middle of the night he woke up crying and then a couple of hours later he was whimpering for some considerable time. In the end, an hour before our alarm was due to go off, we were all awake so I brought him into bed with us. He promptly curled up in the crook of my arm and slept the sleep of the innocent for the full hour. Lucky him. I just couldn't get back off to sleep and had a dead arm to boot. It was lovely to snuggle up with him, though. I've given him some Nurofen tonight and have to hope he sleeps better although I am not optimistic as I have already been up to him once.

Baking

Every time a new series of Masterchef starts, I do a lot more cooking and baking. For many years I was incredibly passionate about cooking and loved to try new recipes. I can't quite explain it but that stopped when I had my first miscarriage. I mostly only do family meals now and am not as adventurous as I used to be. It is difficult to find the time to get the spark back when I'm chasing around after a toddler.

I thought I'd start with some simple baking so I made some soured cream soda bread yesterday (with half the salt that the recipe called for) and an old-fashioned cherry cake today. The cherry cake isn't out of the oven yet but the smell is heavenly. Unfortunately, I won't be able to eat it because the stupid glacé cherry manufacturers put E127 (Red #3) into the ingredients. This colour is considered unsafe in pregnancy in the amounts commonly consumed so I can't have any. I decided to make a cherry cake because I have a lot of ingredients left over from Christmas. I'll probably make a bread and butter pudding sooner or later to use up all the currants, raisins and sultanas.

I love cooking for Phil because he appreciates practically everything I cook. I say practically because in the eight years I have been cooking for him, he has disliked only one dish. I can't blame him, it was a vegetarian dish that called for large chunks of fennel. You either like the flavour of anise or you don't. Phil doesn't.

Michael has also developed a healthy appreciation for food. He'll eat anything, and if he can steal it from my plate then so much the better. I am so pleased about this because he was still eating fully puréed foods at 13 months. I began to wonder if he would ever be able to cope with a coarser texture. Almost overnight, it seems, he turned into a mini gourmand. I watched him eat an incredibly stinky piece of cheese that was offered as a taster in a shop a few weeks ago. He ate every crumb, but unfortunately smelled like his Daddy's feet for the rest of the trip. Whiffy doesn't cover it!

Pregnancy update

I haven't posted in quite a while but I'm actually armed with a good excuse this time - I have had pretty horrible morning sickness for the last month and, coupled with exhaustion, I haven't felt like posting. It would probably have been a big moan, anyway.

So... here I am at 9 weeks pregnant. I had a scan at 7 weeks and saw a baby that was perfect for the dates with a heart pumping away. It is quite amazing the difference between a scan at 6 and at 7 weeks. With Michael, I was scanned at 6 weeks and just saw a flashing dot. At 7 weeks this time I saw a chest and the heart itself pumping. Amazing. The sonographer could see a small bleed on the scan but said it was probably an implantation bleed that was being reabsorbed.

Today I saw the midwife for my booking in appointment and I cannot believe the huge amount of paperwork I have been given! I have a dating scan next Wednesday, a consultation for the Downs Syndrome testing on Thursday, then I have to give a huge number of vials of blood and have another scan at 12 weeks to check the nuchal fold. Because Michael was such a large baby I have to have a test for gestational diabetes. I have had two diabetes tests in the past (one during pregnancy) and both have been normal. I think that the midwife should just take a look at Phil and recognise that no child of his is going to be small. Michael is still pretty much off the chart for height at 16 months. Still... I can't blame her for being cautious.

I have probably mentioned before that homebirths are standard in Holland unless there is a medical reason necessitating a hospital birth. I have been advised to give birth in hospital because of the complications with Michael's birth. His size led to a ventouse delivery and him suffering a broken collarbone. I can have the baby at either Spaarne Ziekenhuis in Hoofddorp or the VU in Amsterdam. The difference is that an epidural is not available at Spaarne outside normal office hours. It will probably all come down to how quickly the labour progresses. There will be regular growth scans in the third trimester and I may be induced if the baby is approaching a size where there is concern that I won't be able to deliver naturally.

I informed the midwife that Michael is still breastfed and she is happy for me to continue as long as I am comfortable to do so and the pregnancy remains low risk.

Whilst all this information was being exchanged, Michael was charging around like a small bull elephant and managed to bang his head on the desk twice. Poor Phil had a hell of a time keeping him still. I think he'd better stay at home next time!

Ready for Christmas

Only 10 days until Christmas? Panic, panic! Actually... skip the panicking. We had a very successful shopping trip today and I managed to find all of the hard-to-locate ingredients for Christmas dinner. I was holding an armful of parsnips in Kingsalmarkt and probably looking slightly crazed when the greengrocer asked me if I wanted more. I now have about 6 parsnips which I am really pleased about because they are harder to get hold of than hens' teeth! I've decided to cook turkey breasts rather than a whole bird because it is just too much meat and hassle for 2 adults and a toddler. It is just going to be us for Christmas this year because Phil's mum is spending Christmas with her other grandchildren. I'm making ginger spiced pudding for dessert. It is served with slices of mango and toffee sauce. I somehow doubt that the toffee sauce will make it to the dinner table unmolested. I decided to skip the traditional Christmas pudding because it is so rich and filling after a full Christmas dinner.

I'm probably going to prepare and freeze some of the food in advance because I don't know if will end up getting morning sickness. As any woman who has had morning sickness over the Christmas period will know, cooking a Christmas dinner is absolutely the last thing you want to do. I don't have morning sickness at the moment which is both worrying and a relief. I'm worried that there might be something wrong with the pregnancy but of course hoping that everything is fine and that I have just been lucky so far.

Now that I have got all the presents wrapped and sorted and the food organised I am starting to feel quite festive. I have a bit of a dilemma, though. I am an atheist but was raised in a Christian household. As a consequence, I am used to the tradition of going to a carol concert at the local church at this time of the year. I like the sense of community and the festive feel it brings. How hypocritical would it be for me, a non-believer, to go to a carol concert? I guess since I haven't stopped celebrating Christmas then it doesn't make me any more hypocritical than I am already being. I should probably be celebrating the winter solstice without reference to Christianity. Doesn't sound quite as much fun.

Pregnant

I took a home pregnancy test this morning and it's official - I'm 4 weeks and 1 day pregnant! This pregnancy was planned and Phil and I are very excited. Whilst I am going to write about my experiences of the first trimester in my blog, I am not going to publish the entries until I am in the second trimester. If, God forbid, something goes wrong with the pregnancy then you may never read the words I am writing now. My reticence is down to the two early losses I suffered before getting pregnant with Michael. Although carrying him to term has made me far more optimistic of a similarly positive outcome, miscarriages leave a scar on the soul that will never heal.

I took the test after Phil had gone to work and called him with the news. I attempted to fool him into thinking the test was negative so that I could go "Ha ha! Fooled you!" but I had forgotten how rubbish I am at fibbing. I am just disgustingly honest. He knew immediately from my tone of voice that the test was positive. With my first pregnancy I felt very different, almost like an alien was inhabiting my body in the beginning, but this time the pregnancy feels completely natural and normal. I have to keep reminding myself that I am pregnant when my mind strays to mundane thoughts like sorting out the remainder of my Christmas shopping.

Michael is now a *very* active toddler and I am hoping that I don't have the horrible morning sickness that I had last time. I had it from about 5 to 17 weeks and lost quite a lot of weight. My mother and grandmother both had much worse morning sickness with their second pregnancies and I have to hope that this bad luck ends with me. I registered (online! progress!) with the local midwife practice this afternoon and informed my doctor by phone at lunchtime. You might think that this is quite early, and I would agree with you, but the reason for this is that my second miscarriage was possibly ectopic. I therefore need to have a scan at around 6/7 weeks to check that the pregnancy is developing within the womb. This is rather bad timing because it means a scan right before, or after, Christmas when many hospital staff disappear off on their holidays. I'll probably get a private reassurance scan if I can't get a hospital one.

One thing I forgot to mention... the baby's due date is August 13th 2008. The day after Michael's second birthday. No, we did not plan this ;o) August is going to be a very expensive month for us! I barely have any symptoms at the moment. Nothing more than the odd growing pain and infrequent feelings of nausea. I came across the most fantastic and mesmerising pregnancy ticker on my antenatal club that I have to show you:



How cool is that?!?